New Year’s Resolutions!

To:                  We the Average

From:              The woman you won’t find in Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul

Re:                  Welcome to 2019!

Time to celebrate, friends! The holidays are over; the days are getting longer; the haters are safely ensconced back in their lairs, judging us from a distance. And though they rarely work, I’m investing some energy into the following New Year’s resolutions:

    1. I will refrain from purchasing a gym membership because saving money is a top priority.
    2. I will remember to get outside and enjoy the sunshine, then I’ll remember it’s impossible to see my laptop screen out there.
    3. I will perform one random act of kindness: to commiserate with the waiters that have to clean up after the family with three bratty kids, who leave a disaster area of half-eaten fries, regurgitated hamburger, and spilled milkshakes congealing under their table, along with an 8 percent tip.
    4. I will remember the date and time for at least one kid’s parent-teacher conference.
    5. At least once a month, I will buy things from the grocery store that must be cooked on the stove or baked in the oven to be considered a meal.
    6. When the laundry pile is taller than I am, I will rewash the load that’s been in the washer for over a week before moving it to the dryer.
    7. I will figure out how to get a new password for the school website that allows me access to my kids’ grades and academic progress. When I forget that one, I’ll keep the log-in page open for six more months to remind myself to get a new password.
    8. I will remind myself that if I’m in the middle of the bell curve, I’m at the top.
    9. I will appreciate the fact that when my son sits on the bench for an entire season, I don’t have to scrub, soak, or even take time to wash his pretty white uniform.
    10. I will be grateful every day for my children, who blow me away with their love, kindness and integrity.

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