Category: We the Average

Parents’ Bill of Rights

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents are inherently flawed, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Sleep, Liberty from Unrealistic Expectations, and the Pursuit of Alcohol.

New Year’s Resolutions!

To:                  We the Average From:              The woman you won’t find in Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul Re:                  Welcome to 2019! Time to celebrate, friends! The holidays are over; the days are getting longer; the haters are safely ensconced back in their…


Kindergarten parent to teacher on first day of school: “I won’t believe everything she says about you if you don’t believe everything she says about me.”

The Best Kind of High

I shouldn’t have done it. Granted, everyone else was doing it. People worse than me had done it and come through just fine. I thought I could handle it. I thought I’d be different. Besides, nobody, and I mean nobody, warned me against it….

What our Elf on on the Shelf is up to

Corrupting all the elves from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. What is your Elf up to?


Dear College Parents

It’s that time of year! The kids are coming home for the holidays! Check out Grown & Flown’s letter to college parents. I wish you nothing but sanity this holiday season. Dear Freshman Parent

At least I’m not one of them

For twenty-two years, I’ve doubted my value as a parent. I’ve questioned every decision, worried about my children’s ability to make it through the cruel world of K-12, beat myself up over every mistake. But hindsight is 20/20, and, at this point, I can…