Parents’ Bill of Rights

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents are inherently flawed, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Sleep, Liberty from Unrealistic Expectations, and the Pursuit of Alcohol.

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Bad mother spotted by dozens of onlookers!

A shocking report in The Onion stated a single mother with three children was spotted in Lincoln, NE, committing multiple crimes against parental decency and suburban child-rearing expectations. This is no longer an issue for the big cities, people; this outrage is happening in our own backyards.

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New Year’s Resolutions!

To:                  We the Average

From:              The woman you won’t find in Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul

Re:                  Welcome to 2019!

Time to celebrate, friends! The holidays are over; the days are getting longer; the haters are safely ensconced back in their lairs, judging us from a distance. And though they rarely work, I’m investing some energy into the following New Year’s resolutions:

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Kindergarten parent to teacher on first day of school:

“I won’t believe everything she says about you if you don’t believe everything she says about me.”

PTO, PTA: Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off

A great post on Renegade Mothering, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite blogs.

Why does the PTA hate us?


The Best Kind of High

I shouldn’t have done it. Granted, everyone else was doing it. People worse than me had done it and come through just fine. I thought I could handle it. I thought I’d be different. Besides, nobody, and I mean nobody, warned me against it. They said it’s the best high I’d ever feel, completely safe. So, yeah, I confess. I did it. Read More

What our Elf on on the Shelf is up to

Corrupting all the elves from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

What is your Elf up to?