A shocking report in The Onion stated a single mother with three children was spotted in Lincoln, NE, committing multiple crimes against parental decency and suburban child-rearing expectations. This is no longer an issue for the big cities, people; this outrage is happening in our own backyards.
To: We the Average
From: The woman you won’t find in Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul
Re: Welcome to 2019!
Time to celebrate, friends! The holidays are over; the days are getting longer; the haters are safely ensconced back in their lairs, judging us from a distance. And though they rarely work, I’m investing some energy into the following New Year’s resolutions:
“I won’t believe everything she says about you if you don’t believe everything she says about me.”
I shouldn’t have done it. Granted, everyone else was doing it. People worse than me had done it and come through just fine. I thought I could handle it. I thought I’d be different. Besides, nobody, and I mean nobody, warned me against it. They said it’s the best high I’d ever feel, completely safe. So, yeah, I confess. I did it. Read More
Corrupting all the elves from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
What is your Elf up to?
Hail to the Average!
Spoiler Alert: Beware. This article does NOT solely praise straight-A students.