Tag: Parenting satire

Mother Believes Preschool Should Focus Only on Her Child

Parent-teacher conferences are fast approaching, and We the Average parents and students need to remember where we rank in the Pre-K through 12 hierarchy. Check out The Onion’s feature on an extraordinary mother who is working tirelessly to find the right pre-school for her perfect…

The humility and honor of a perfect parent

True story. A perfect mom, whose son is in my son’s 11th grade class, posted fifteen pictures of her daughter on Facebook, after the twelve-year-old won two gold medals at an elite gymnastics meet. Here is one of the follow-up posts from another dad.

#11 QOTW

Parents’ Bill of Rights

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents are inherently flawed, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Sleep, Liberty from Unrealistic Expectations, and the Pursuit of Alcohol.

Bad mother spotted by dozens of onlookers!

A shocking report in The Onion stated a single mother with three children was spotted in Lincoln, NE, committing multiple crimes against parental decency and suburban child-rearing expectations. This is no longer an issue for the big cities, people; this outrage is happening in…

#8 QOTW

Kindergarten parent to teacher on first day of school: “I won’t believe everything she says about you if you don’t believe everything she says about me.”

The Best Kind of High

I shouldn’t have done it. Granted, everyone else was doing it. People worse than me had done it and come through just fine. I thought I could handle it. I thought I’d be different. Besides, nobody, and I mean nobody, warned me against it….

What our Elf on on the Shelf is up to

Corrupting all the elves from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. What is your Elf up to?